15/12

i am feeling rather dissapointed today.
there was this searing pain behind my head that wouldn't go off. it was rather difficult to hold back my emotions and try to smile and talk at the same time. i swallowed my saliva several times, trying to keep myself all together, composed and polite, trying to hold back those tears from flowing in front of my relatives. i didn't feel better. i tried stuffing everything in me and not let it out. like how you empty all of the garbage into a plastic bag and tie it into a tight knot? it was almost the same. but except that they were my emotions. when we were on the way home, rain started pouring down heavily. i just gazed up the gloomy sky, don't know what to expect.
on the way home, a car zoomed past us. in it, there was a handsomely dark ,small boy with big eyes. he looked at me with this sort of unwavering curiosity. so i stared at him back. and then he smiled in respond.